I thought I would share a story of a client who I recently worked with.
*These are her words, I just changed some of the copy to 3rd person to flow better*
I met Mrs P in November 2018 and this is her journey while working together.
Mrs P. came to see me because she was gaining weight and really felt like she was unable to get a grip over the situation. She felt completely out of control and had no idea how to fix her situation. She was being comforted by food but felt terrible after eating. She was attracted to very unhealthy foods all the time and felt down about her situation.
While trying to solve the problem, she found people were inflexible and merely told her what she had to do and a lot of what they were saying did not resonate with her. She was expected to pay for services she did not want and they expected her to conform with their approach rather than them trying to find out how to offer her a tailored approach fitting with her lifestyle. ‘I felt abandoned and very lost.’
When asked what was different about what I offered? She said; I worked with her, I saw her as an individual with unique needs. I spoke directly to her life challenges and did not attempt to force her to adopt my approach. ” I think you worked with me to help me find want I needed rather than dictating to me. You also helped me to understand and work with all the factors that influence my food choices, no one else offered that approach.”
She felt our first appointment made it clear to her that she was in touch with the right person ‘simply because you spoke to me as if I was an individual with unique needs and desires’. I walked away from every appointment feeling as though I was moving closer to establishing and enjoying my relationship with food. ‘Your tools and exercises were very helpful – dropping anchor has changed everything for me!’
Now that the problem is being solved, she feels ‘much calmer and connected to my environment and food in general. I feel more human and that I can think a little more meaningfully about my food choices. I feel better equipped to think about my food portions and to stay in touch with how I feel before and after eating. I have reconnected with all the things I liked about food. I have started to lose weight, and this is very motivating for me. It is proof that I do not need an eating plan!’
The biggest changes for Mrs P have been that she is more aware of her eating habits and am able to think more clearly about what she wants to do in relation to food. ‘I am able to calm myself and think more meaningfully about my food choices. I feel more able to make healthy food work for me.’ And the most unexpected change ‘I am more at peace with food even though I do not have a strict eating plan. I am questioning my automatic actions!!
Kindness towards myself. Sleep has a huge impact on how I relate to food.’
When asked about being closer to her initial goals and if that may have changed? ‘Yes, I do feel I am closer. And yes, my goal has changed slightly. Instead of focusing on outcome (weight loss) I am now focusing on how to be more at peace with my eating. Weight loss is a consequence of my healthy relationship with food.’
I asked what other change she was hoping for but feel she haven’t achieved? ‘It is hard to say because I am still in my process. I do not feel finished yet so I cannot really say with any certainty. I still want chocolates/sweets at night, but I am more conscious when this happens rather than simply eating chocolates/sweets automatically.
Do you feel like I was able to help you move forward? ‘Absolutely.’
As you may gather from this, Mrs P put in the hard work, she was willing to go where it was not always easy or pleasant, but she was open, willing and ready to try a different approach. The ‘next steps’ were directed by her needs and given the time and space most of us come to our own conclusions to what we most need and how we will make this work. An innate, intuitive knowing not dictated by food rules, but guided by your own ancient inner wisdom.
You are your best healer!